I have loved you ever since.
I have walked with you through storms.
I have embraced you in the cold.
I have sheltered you from the fire.
I have showered you with happiness
I have made your dreams come true.
I have carried your burdens.
I have forgotten myself so you can know who you are.
I have been your friend.
I have been your foe.
But every time, I have been there for you,
When is the time you’ll be there for me too?
Over the weekend I watched ‘Caregiver’ by known actress Sharon Cuneta. At first I thought it was just one of those plain movies of OFW’s showcasing the up’s and down’s of why they are there in the first place.
But as the story moves along, I can’t help myself but associate the things happening to her with my own life. How I am torn with the idea of going abroad and get a high earning job but not really related with the course I finished from college and far from my current field of work.
How I’m having fears and doubts of leaving my husband and daughter behind. When I was still single, I always dreamt of going abroad to find a job and earn enough to buy a house, a car and provide things for my family. But after giving birth to my daughter a few years ago, I had mixed emotions of pursuing this dream. First, my daughter is just 2 years old; I have a husband whose job shifts most of the time allows him to go home only on weekends. I have a lot of questions. Where to leave my daughter? Will she be well taken care of? Will my husband be faithful? Will my earnings abroad be enough to compensate for the distance and the longings I may feel being far from my family? Who will take care of me when I get sick? And a hundred more questions that I myself cannot seem to find the answers.
But as the movie had shown her beginnings where never easy. She experienced hardship, homesickness, humiliation and frustration with her job, her situation and her relationship with her husband and she overcomes everything by taking the risks.
I guess I can never really know the answers to my questions unless I take the risk and know for myself the outcome of my decisions. So wish me luck and may I find what my heart longs for.
How can you console a friend who is in deep pain, when you yourself are dying with the same sorrow?
A close friend lost her mom recently this year and I know she’s in pain right now being an only child. I make her cry most of the time when we do our daily chats not because I wanted her to, but I know she is still in the process of healing. Most of the times, I cry with her, knowing that what she is going thru is the same with what I had to battle after losing my mom to cancer a couple of years back.
I thought I had already accepted the fact that she’s gone, never to come back to us. But there are these times when I find myself alone, crying, longing for her to hold me in her arms again. Share to her my dreams, fears, anxieties and achievements in life. I know these can never be, and I have to move on with my life. But I know that no matter how many years or decades may pass my life without her, she will always be with me, here in my heart, forever close.
Well, let me see, where do I start? This is my first time to post some blogs and I feel quite excited getting away from tons and tons of codes and syntaxes that need to be analyzed and coded.
During my high school days I spend my spare time writing poems and phrases out of any topic that I could think of. When I started going to college, got myself involved in our school paper, after graduation, this things became forgotten as I got engrossed in and engulfed by the world of work, never ending deadlines and becoming a mom.
They say writing is a passion, an addiction you cannot quite get out of. I think their right, that no matter how busy your life maybe, how absurd your writings may become, writing is a very fulfilling diversion from your monotonous world. A get away that is neither expensive nor too far to go to…a simple way of rediscovering yourself when you got lost in the world of obligations and responsibilities.
And now, I am writing again and it feels really good. An intoxicating experience that had been long forgotten and now rekindled to make it last a lifetime.
